Party necessary.

Do you want to know something top secret? So top secret that almost everyone who has ever been in my home already knows? I'm a mess. Now, don't get me wrong, I clean things. There is no mold growing anywhere, dishes go directly into the dishwasher 98% of the time, and I regularly clean the bathroom, vacuum, and even occasionally dust (although I swear it is an act of futility in my house). I am the cluttery, I don't put my stuff away, kind of mess.

I can't seem to stop either. I tried. I bought very open furniture when I moved last. My desk and bookshelf are all open boxes. I thought if everything was visible I'd be more concerned about keeping it neat. These are the lies I tell myself. I do not keep it clean. I can just see the mess. I am, however, considering buying some of those cute doors you can add to my furniture to hide the mess.

The only true solution is to have a party. And, not just a pizza and a dvd with the girls kind of party - a real party, preferrably with men. There have to be guys to really guilt me into cleaning off my desk, putting away the random assortment of products in the bathroom, and, most importantly, picking up all stray laundry off the floor.

You see, my bathroom is in the basement. My bedroom must be passed through to arrive at said bathroom. All stray clothing must be hidden for a man to pass through. Guilt and shame are good motivators.

Also, I like to cook for people. AND I have this great plan where I borrow a projector (from an unnamed source that may or may not employ me.) in order to project a movie onto the back of my house. There will be popcorn and homemade ice cream and probably raisinets and definitely red vines. I can't decide yet on the movie though. Something with mass appeal (low violence, high laughter). Suggestions anyone? If you choose the winning movie you will be invited to the party for sure. Especially if you are a man, because, well you know...

And now I feel like I better go clean something before I sleep...