Tuesday, August 9, 2011

If I only had an airplane...

Last week, I was reminded of how very, very much I love to fly. I love the whole travelling experience, but I really especially love airplanes and airports. This dawned on me even despite flight delays that caused waiting and crazy transfers only to rush to a plane that would sit on the runway for a repair for an hour. Still - love.

I think the first reason is: I sleep on planes like I sleep nowhere else. As soon as a plane takes off I can often slip immediately off to sleep - out cold until someone crashes into me with a drink cart. It's extraordinary. You have your own air conditioning vent. Your seat is uncomfortable, but you don't care, because you are being soothed by the rhythm of flight as you zoom through the clouds. I think it's like the washing machine/drive around the block affect on some infants. You know how when some kids don't sleep parents stick them in a car seat and drive around or simulate the driving rhythm by sticking the car seat on the washing machine? It's like that. Ahhh.

Plus, when you're awake on an airplane, you have absolutely no responsibilities. You can watch the tiny tv, you can read a book, you can listen to your iPod and do nothing else, you can do 15 sudoko puzzles, or you can just stare aimlessly into space. Nobody blames you for being unproductive on a plane. No guilt at all - not even from yourself.

And airports, are magical places too. First, you know you have a really good nap to look forward to (did I mention how well I sleep on planes?). You can always get coffee there - and you won't even feel guilty for spending $74 on coffee because at the airport, $74 is the status quo. Water? Soda? Juice? All $74. You may as well get the expensive coffee drink. It's all the same. There are stores at airports full of things nobody really needs. Things you aren't allowed to carry through security - forbidden items. Things that cost too much and you've never heard of. Weird things, animal print luggage, and gadgets that have irresistably interesting purposes that nobody would use in their real life. You don't have to buy these things - you shouldn't - they're expensive and/or useless. You could buy them though - and that's really the point.

Airports are also filled with interesting people speaking a multitude of beautiful languages. Also with hilariously exhausted people who hate their lives (Don't they know what great places airports are?) And families having fights over who has to sit next to whom. And businessmen who talk to themselves (bluetooth or schizophrenia? Bluetooth? Maybe...). And tired, crying girls who just really want to go home but their flight was delayed 15 minutes and they just can't handle it. Ahh people. You are so interesting and you put all your crazy right out where I can watch it in the airport. I love you all.

In summary, I would like an airplane all my own to fly me around at night and land as my alarm clock and then give me free orange juice, because we all know you can't buy $6 orange juice in the airport. My only concern with this plan is it seems rather wasteful and I'll never do it - again, guilt (is this a theme tonight? What the heck?). Perhaps I can work out some system where I fly missionaries and those in need of life changing surgeries around while I sleep. Better right? Than I can sleep well and with a good conscience. This plan needs to be more fully developed, but I think I may be on to something.

Good night world - enough airplane rambling. I'm off to bed, even though nobody will fly me to sleep - Yet...


  1. I am one of those tired, crying girls when I fly. I even cried after I voluntarily gave up my seat for a voucher. I can't help it. I just don't love flying as much as you do. I feel trapped and scrunched and bored on airplanes. :)

    But it's a good thing you are so good at it because you are frequently the person I call when all he'll breaks loose at the airport - as it usually does when I fly. Although it's getting better. :)

  2. You are getting better - when you remember to get on the plane... :P


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